It's been fun...

I've had a lot of fun going back and forth with Alla, even though "she" seems to have never read an email or opened any of my attachments.

I'm going to call it quits and I do hope that you got a chuckle out of something during this experiment.  :)

Till my next adventure... thanks for tuning in!

Alla says Fooey to your Sabantuy!

Ok - this email cracked me up from the beginning to finish.  I wonder if I should tell her I'm not from this planet?

Hello my love Jason!

Now I have again felt your gentle love to me. Now, having opened my mail, I have felt at once inflow of your love in my heart. After all our hearts are intended for each other, our love is mutual, our feelings the warmest, sincere. Every day, each hour and minutes pass. But our love never will go out. My days do not go further without thoughts on you. And only when I think of you, to me becomes so easily on heart. Only my love, my feelings to you give me values to live further. To live, to be happy with you. If there was no you on this planet I would not be such happy. Would not be such joyful as now. On mine face there would be no this smile.
And here, after perusal of your letter to me again on heart so it is easy. Because I feel your love to me. My sweet, my darling, gentle Jason, I love you! And I am ready to cry for the whole world as I am strongly love you. And let all know, what at us with you strong love. Now one good thought has come to my head. You wish to know what?

When we will be together we could write with you the novel, devoted to ours with you of love. How two loving hearts struggled for the happiness, being on distance. About that they have gone through as have passed this long way. And still, having overcome this huge distance, their love to each other on has many times got stronger. Distance which faced to these people, has on the contrary helped to fix them real love. My sweet love, we could write this novel together. What do you think of it? You like my idea? I would like to know your opinion. After all I wish to divide all with you. And I will always consult on you, that the nobility your thoughts.

My love Jason, you very strongly do not suffice me, your caress, yours strong embraces, your sweet kisses. In the evenings to me it becomes sad, lonely. But drops of teardrops on my eyes help me to struggle with melancholy. Thoughts on you always in my head!! I simply should think of you. After all my heart tests to you such huge love! Sometimes it is possible to think, that from such strong love it is possible to burn. But it never will go out. My love to you always will be same strong as now. I love you!! And I can once tell these three gentle and sensual words, being close to you and looking in your shining eyes. I miss on you, my beloved. But
I will wait for your letter.

You love Alla.

 
So - she wants to write a book.. hmm...

I will give this some thought and respond back later tonight.

All in all - it has been a crazy weekend of back and forth emailing.  I wanted to post as it was happening, but unfortunately I had no power this weekend.

Oh well - now you're caught up!  :)

The Sabantuy Response

My lovely Alla,

Thank you for your email. It brightens my day and sharpens my wit.

Sabantuy sounds like a wonderful celebration!  The pictures you
attached look like you had a great time, well like you said - as good of a time as possible without me!

I would like very much to participate in these celebrations and perhaps match play sometime in the future.  I am not saying that I would fair well, but they don't call me "Mad Dog" for nothing!

I'm glad that your family approves of our long distance relationship. I've also told my family and friends about you!  They sit on the edge of their seat waiting for my next update - no really, they do!

You make me feel so special, my princess, like a shiny dime found next to a smelly dumpster in a busy city.  The homeless person sitting next to the dumpster doesn't have near the glow that you give to me with each letter.

I may have to write you another song!  Did you listen to the first one?  Did you love it? Or, shall I make you more art work?  Did you love "Heart On Love"?  Did you frame it?  You should give your Uncle a copy!

You make me want to be a better man, Alla...

You are my sweet Russian flower, like a Rose but better... More like the king of the flower kingdom, the Dandelion!

Well - I should go, but have no fear, I'll be back and in my Superman boxer / briefs  in no time!  That's a joke my love - Superman is a wussy compared to Spider-Man...

Lots of love from above,

Jason

The Sabantuy email from Alla

She responded very quickly and decided to tell me about the holiday that she mentioned in the previous email.

Hello my loved Jason!!

Today a weekend, my love. Today at me good mood, as today at us in a city a holiday of our people. This holiday is called Sabantuy. My love, this holiday is celebrated for a long time. During its ancient times celebrated only the Tatar people, but now this holiday celebrate as practically across all Russia. The holiday is devoted the termination of crops of agricultural crops. This very cheerful action: during this holiday competitions on the Tatar struggle are held is a struggle is very similar to the Greek-Roman struggle, but nevertheless it has the differences. The winner of these competitions receives in the award of a ram. As horse jumps are spent. This kind of competitions is very popular in our people. In general, this day all people have a rest from work, spend much time with the family, meet families of the friends.

This day at us as all family has gathered, to us there have arrived my uncles and aunts, cousins and sisters, friends to our family. Even my old grandmother, despite the age, has arrived to spend this time together with us. I was very glad to that today all of us were together. Only you did not suffice nearby, my love Jason! I very much would want, that you were today with me. You could get acquainted with all my relatives, friends, girlfriends. I think, that all of them would like you, because all of them very good and benevolent people. And so, today since morning till a dinner we sat all our big family at a beautiful celebratory table, we talked much, discussed various themes. My uncle to whom 62 years, asked me when I will marry. And when I have started to tell about you all have started me to listen attentively. I have told all about you, my sweet prince! I have told what you the good and careful man. Anybody was confused at all with that we with you correspond through the Internet. All my relatives and friends were glad to that I have found the love. And after that all at once have drunk for that at you and at me all was good that we have created a happy family soon. I was very glad to that all my relatives have approved you, my love. Then we all family have gone on Sabantuy which was celebrated in a grove in the country. There it was very cheerful, there were various concerts, all sang songs, danced. But among all this fun, me it was boring without you.

I very much want, that we were faster together, my love. I wish to get acquainted with all your family, with all your friends. I wish to be every day near to you, my love. I very much do not have your love and caress! I love you very strongly!!! Write me more likely the letter, tell to me about the weekend. I will wait your long-awaited answer.

Your love Alla.

I did a quick Wikipedia search and found that this was a real festival.  Wikipedia explained it to me much better than Alla did. This does fit with what she told me in this post.

She attached the following pictures, which I was hoping to have the metadata tell me that they were not from this year, but unfortunately they seem to be missing that data.  They are taken with the same camera as many of the previous pics.

Alla's Wedding Reply

No mention of the wedding plans, but she's really declaring her love for me... ah, who can blame her...

Hello my love Jason!!!

I am glad to receive your letter. For me this biggest happiness, for me is a holiday in usual week-day. For me your letter very many means in my life because I cannot contact you in any way more. And I wish to receive your letter always. My love, I so is glad, that the destiny has reduced us with you. You for me the most desired man in this world. On the earth there is no such person as you more. Even in all installed not to find the man who could replace to me you. Such man simply does not exist also it will be never!! Only you for me everything, than I value. You all valuable, that at me are!! And I am ready to give you all that I have for your love. I am ready to give you all heart, all soul, all body. My love, take everything, but only do not leave me never and give me the love and caress. I wish to be only with you, my sweet prince Jason!! You are an ideal of the man for me!! When we will be together, I will be always near to you, I will always help you in all. I love you!!! Write me more likely the letter. I wish to see your answer.

Your sweet love Alla.

There were pictures attached, but they didn't come through with the email, and it looked like the reply was copied and pasted from Word because it had a bunch of the characters that come in from a copy such as that.  I thought I would give a quick reply, so I just sent her this in response.

I sometimes miss you always, and stuff.

Love Jason

The "picture this" Wedding Response

I really don't have to set this one up ...

The love, the light, my dear Alla,

I had a wonderful day today.  I woke early to get in my morning workout and as I worked through the first set of jumping jacks I thought of you.  I thought of your beautiful hair as I worked through a torturous set of leg lunges and your beautiful smile kept me going when I wanted to quit after only three deep knee squat thrusters.

I jumped in my vehicle, checked my looked in the mirror, and sped out of the driveway.  As I turned the radio up, a song came on that summed up my feelings for you.  A song so strong that my emotions nearly poured out into the ashtray.... would you like to know the title of the song that caused such an emotional oil spill?

The song was by an artist I'm sure that you've heard of... his name is Billy Ray Cyrus.  The song - "Achy Breaky Heart".  It's now "our" song Alla.  It's the song that I would like played at our wedding, along with other wedding dance song favorites like "Hit The Road, Jack" and the Marcy's Playground marriage anthem "Sex and Candy".

I picture myself holding you in my strong arms as we get freak nasty on the dance floor and we become one as I put my hand upon your hip, I dip, you dip, we dip.  You then put your hand upon my hip, when you dip, I dip, we dip.  We then rinse and repeat until the break of dawn, shorty got it going on!

I'm not sure about you, but I'd love a large wedding in a very small church.  I'm thinking that the invite list should be several thousand guests.  The majority of them would not fit in the church to view the ceremony, however we can webcast the event and perhaps even work out a pay-per-view deal if we play our cards right.  And as the ceremony finished, we would walk outside and all the guests would form a near-world record cha-cha line and we'd dance off to our limo parked several miles away.

Our wedding night would be heavenly.  We should definitely plan it so that we get married during the NHL playoff season, that way we'll have something to do after the wedding ceremony.  I'll get some cheese corn and we can watch hockey and who knows what else might happen... maybe we'll throw caution to the wind and order in some Dominos... oh hell Alla - we could be this wild!!

Oh listen to me...I'm telling you - this is how emotional you make me! 

Well - I should go calm down a bit.  Just writing you has caused a stir in me that only a bathroom break can relieve.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Alla... until next time.

My love is all yours...

Jason

She's Getting A Bit Demanding...

Yup - quick response back to my email, of course no mention of my teleportation ideas or my beautiful boat! Instead, she continues telling me the same thing in each message.  I'm her "angel", her "prince", her artist formerly known as Prince.  Oh why must I be so damn lovable?  It's a curse I tell ya...

Hello my love Jason.

I so am glad, that you have written me the letter. I waited for it very long. And now, when it is in my mail box, I feel the happiest woman. I really very much rejoice, when I receive your letters my prince. After all each your letter is as if a drink of fresh air for me, it as if a warm beam of the sun which warms me in cold weather, it as if wings for the bird who have remained without the blue sky.

My angel, your letter is all for me now as we cannot communicate in any way with each other at present any more. But nevertheless the most important place in my life is occupied not with your letters, namely you. You have brought a lot of happiness, a considerable quantity of bright paints from which this world seems to me is better in my life. In this world so it is a lot of afflictions and I am grateful to you that you do my life better.

With each last day I understand that I become happier. This happiness is given to me by you, my prince Jason. And every portion happiness I receive only with your letter. So write to me more often my love. Write me each time when you have a possibility to make it. If you know, that in a current of several days, you cannot write to me tell to me about it that I did not worry in vain for you. Well my loved?
I hope, that soon you receive my letter and will write to me. Now I with the big impatience will wait your answer. I love you!!

Your love Alla.

"If you know, that in a current of several days, you cannot write me to tell me about it that I did not worry in vain for you"  - really?  OH no she didn't!?!?!  //picture my head moving back and forth and me doing a great triple snap //

Well - I probably should write her soon... or as soon as I feel like it.  LOL!

I think I actually might just respond back with a header and a footer and the in between part being an Amazon.com review of some sort... seriously, she/he/it wouldn't notice.

"L" Bombs Away!

Travel Plan Response....

I figured I might as well have a bit of fun and let her know that I was thinking of how I could get to her.

Alla, dear Alla...

I feel the same way, it is nice to know that there is someone out there in the world that feels this way about me, and I about her.  Even though we're half a world apart, it's like you're right next to me.

Oh Alla, what will we do ...

Since the last time we communicated, I've been researching trips to Russia to investigate the best way to visit you.  I started with cab companies, but no local cabbies would take the task.  I checked the Greyhound station and found no buses that would make the trek.  The train station was next and although I have international options, I still could not find the match to my search.  Airlines seem to be the only way, but you know of my fear of dealing with the customer service of the airline industry, so that's not a great option. 

I've narrowed it down to two options.

Travel by boat or teleportation.  I have a lead on each of these options.  The first is to have a spell put on me to be able to teleport to see you.  The cost is pretty good.  At $29 I think it's worth a shot.  Check it out here -

The second option is not bad either, but it is a bit more expensive.  I could buy a boat and I'm sure given several months of travel, I could get to you.  I'm attaching a picture of the boat I'm looking at purchasing. 

What should I do?

Maybe you could come and see me?  Oh what am I saying - that would never work... I really don't like seeing people in person before we meet.

Until next time Alla, you'll be in my thoughts, my dreams, my subconcious, my left ear lobe and my breath.

Love, yes I said love... no big whoop.

Jason

Just in case the link on Teleportation is down, as I'm sure it will eventually be, I attach the screen shot for your enjoyment.  Yes - this was actually on eBay.

I love that the above ad says "5 sold" ... really?  Holy shit. Ok - I might post up some crap on eBay tonight...

I also attached the picture of my boat to the email.

Let's see where this goes ...  :)

Guess who's back?!?!

Just before preparing for bed this evening, I checked my email and to my surprise, I received the following message.

Hello my dear Jason.

It is pleasant to me to know, that in the world there is a person for whom my destiny and my future are of great importance. I did not feel such care from other people. It seemed to me, that in this bad world I am necessary to nobody. I thought, that I the most lonely and unfortunate woman in the world. At night I often cried... To me is sad to recollect my life before our acquaintance to you. Now in my life there is a person whom I love all heart. And I am ready to use the best efforts to be near to you. I can leave the house and the country to be together with you for ever. I am ready to make all for the sake of our love.

It seemed to me, that my angel the keeper has forgotten about me. But your kindness and you have woken in me other person! You have forced me to look at the world absolutely on another, you have brought in my life more than bright paints and pleasure. I very much would like to tell to you all these words personally, but simple silly words cannot explain my relation to you to the full. My eyes will more clearly tell to you about everything when I will glance in your eyes. Not be upset, if my letter seemed to you little bit sad. Simply understand me - round me there were people, but I was lonely in the soul, and now I have a person for whom I am not afraid to seem such what I am actually. Huge to you thanks for it!!! I absolutely free in the soul! I have again found happiness! I have found happiness thanks to you. I send you a kiss and when you will read my letter, you receive it in the lips :-) I miss very strongly on you.

Your Alla.

She's got some great ones in there - some stuff I may actually add into my repertoire for future use.

• I can leave the house and the country to be together with you for ever.

Perhaps I'll tell her that I'd like to leave the house as well, but that I'm grounded for two weeks?

• Huge to you thanks for it!!!

Did she just call me "huge"...?

• I send you a kiss and when you will read my letter, you receive it in the lips :-)

Awww... that's sweet!!

Ok - actually, if I didn't know any better and as I jumble the words around to make sense of what has been written, it would seem like this was a very lonely person who was really happy to hear from me again.

Since I know better, I guess I'll just keep having fun with it.  :)

It's been 12 long days...

Google Mail has informed me that it has been 12 days since my last communication with Alla.  I could have just let it go, but I decided to send her a quick email to see if it would remind her that I'm still around.  I know it has to be hard for her to keep up with all those responses, but I think she'll remember me...

Oh Alla,

It has been so long since your last letter where you declared your love for me.  My life has not been the same without you, my peanut butter is tastless.  Won't you please bring sunshine back into my day and come back to me?

With open heart and closed wallet,

Jason

Playin' hard to get and just playin'!

I haven't heard back from the love of my life, Alla!  I'm so disappointed.  I want to email her back, but I'm not like that and I'm not going to "give it up" that easy... she's gonna have to work for it!

In the meantime, you're going to laugh... ready...

Another person emailed me a message on the same dating site.  Very similar story... got the email, checked the profile and it was gone.  Most people would just leave it be... but not me, here is my first response to her.

Hi Uliana!

Wow - what a lucky guy I am to have you find my profile!  Tell me about yourself.  Let's get to know each other and find out if there is a love connection!!

Bow Chicka Wow Wow!

Hope to hear from you soon

J-Dog!

 So - let's hope that Alla reaches back out to me so that I can continue on with both of these lovely ladies..  LOL!!!

Getting to the "L" Word...

Alla responded back - very quickly this time.... and dropped the "L" bomb!!!

What's a guy to do?

Hello my loved Jason.

I so to see glad again your letter. I wish to tell to you, that your letters have started to take the big place in my life. It has entered into my mode, that every day I write you the letter. And it is pleasant to me. It seems to me, that I cannot live without it any more. With each your letter I feel heat and ease in my heart. I become joyful each time when I open the an electronic mail box because I know, that I will find there your letter.

At us it is cold, especially in the mornings and to evenings. And in such cold I would like to nestle on you that you have warmed me the heat that you have embraced me strong. I feel, that I cannot think of anybody the friend except you. But now after everything, that I to you have told, I wish to admit to you. I love you...
I was afraid to tell to you it as I thought a little, that you will not trust me after that will refuse me. Probably, I the silly girl if I so have thought. After all I know, that you very good person and you never afflict me. But nevertheless I wish to tell to you, that if you do not have such feelings to me what I have to you you should tell to me about it at once. I do not want, that there was a lie. I think, that all should be truthful and fair. If you do not love me, I will understand it. I will not begin to insist on what. Certainly, it will be for me the big pain and loss, but nevertheless I will understand you in it.

You should know, that now I have a man whom I love all heart, all soul. I am ready on all for the sake of this man. This man you, my love Jason. I cannot live more than any day without you and without your letter. Write to me more likely, to me it is very important. I will wait your letter with the big impatience.

With love, your Alla.

She attached a picture that she had sent before (what's with this recycling thing - I'm going to attach the Peanut Butter jar again) and a couple of new ones.

Ok - so I'm totally going to call her out on the "I love you" statement in my reply.  I'm going to ask how she could know this when all she really knows is that I have a love for Peanut Butter, and an fear of Marshmallow tables.

I think I'm also going to say that I could never fall in love with a "tree hugger" type... and maybe see if I can go down that route and see where it takes me.

I'm sure that she / he won't read any of it and will likely just keep pushing that they need to be with me and then eventually we'll get to the part where they ask for some money.

Or maybe she's just a real girl who wants to have sweet nothings whispered in her ear, sang to when she wakes up and have horrific drawings done with Microsoft Paint in her honor.  LOL!

Something about this is making me start to feel a little Van Gogh'ish...

Oh well - nonetheless - I will make her wait.  Yes - because I am playing hard to get, and that's just how I roll!  :)

Next response : Ahh the flames of love!

I figured that rather than mentioning a trip to Russia, I could tell her that I've been there with her - in a dream.  Of course, my dreams are pretty vivid and a touch animated!

Hope you enjoy...

Beautiful Alla,

I hope this letter finds you well, with the sun in your eye and the winds playing with your hair.

I am very good today, thank you so much for asking.  I awoke this morning with much energy due to the dreams of the night that were filled with visions of you.

Let me tell you a little bit about the dreams.  The first dream had me visiting you in your hometown.  I arrived in your country, and took a limousine to your place.  I didn't have any money in the dream, so you covered the cost of the travel for me.  I looked into your eyes with my good eye and could tell that there was a spark of emotion that would burn out of control.

You invited me in and had prepared a meal of your local favorites, spaghetti and meatballs, fettuccine alfredo, pizza, all the best.  The table was set for two, flowers in the middle and candles set but not lit.  It struck me odd at first, but then I noticed that the table was made of marshmallow, and then I completely understood.

We stared lovingly across the mallow table at each other, I admired your beauty and you were obviously taken back by the strength of color in my good eye.  As we both looked longingly at each other we flirted with glances and the occasional toss of a dinner roll.  Oh Alla... it was heaven.  It was perfect, until that same spark that was felt outside of your house earlier in the dream, started the table on fire.  This is where the dream went really bad, the table roasted in seconds, all of the food falling to the floor, the smell of childhood campfires filled the room and melted marshmallow surrounded our feet.  We could not move, the mallow seemed to over take us like quicksand, and we both died.  It was very horrible.

The second dream was very pleasant!  I won't bore you with the details.

I wish to continue writing my thoughts and dreams to you, but my time on the internet has come to an end.  I've suddenly got a craving for smores!  I must walk away at a rapid pace, just slow of running.

Until next time Alla,

Yours indubitably,

Jason

For laughs / good measure I attached the following pics....

Yup - it's the Golden Gate bridge... I thought it was a cool pic, she might too!  LOL.

A mallow similar to the one in my dream, but the one in the dream was a bit larger.

No seriously - I did not have a dream about a flaming marshmallow table - geez... don't fall into the trap, I'm not THAT crazy folks... I just have a good (read: sometimes twisted) imagination!

Alla Replies... but she's still not saying much...

No mention of the Lorem Ipsum holder text, the Indiana Jones picture or anything...

Hello dear Jason.

How are you today? I hope, that your day was good. I very much wish to be with you and I dream that our happiness would be always with us. I wait every day your letter as a beam of the sun in the morning. I wish to speak with you about the most personal. You has what or secrets? I want, that you have told to me about it fairly. I do not know why, but I want, that between us there were no secrets and all only was sincere. And I write you all sincerely. All that I think. Because I know that it remains only between us. If it is fair, you for me even became closer than my girlfriend. I can tell to you of that I do not speak to mum or the grandmother. We know each other not so long, but I trust you.

My mum, the grandmother, girlfriends know that we communicate. They say to me, that I have very much changed after have got acquainted with you. I became more more cheerful, such feeling, that my life completely has changed. And it you have changed my life, you bore in it of more pleasure and happiness. And I am grateful to you for it. I do not know, that happens in the future, but I know that it to the best. I feel how my heart knocks more strongly as I want that you have embraced me. I dream of were with you at least some seconds. But I do not know, how to me to make it. If I had wings I would depart to you through the seas and the countries...

I never met such men as you. The same man, as well as all the others would Seem, that you, but in you there is that what is not present in the others. You have changed my life. I feel, that I am fascinated by you. But I feel a little uncertainly. I think, that this uncertainty soon will pass. What do you feel? Tell to me it. In your life have happened what or changes after you have got acquainted with me? It is very important for me. I wait your letter with the big impatience. I hope, that soon you will write me it.

Your Alla.

Below are the next round of pictures.

I have to admit that I'm surprised that she's not asking for money yet.  I've read on other blogs, that did a similar thing and documented the communication back and forth, that the person has started asking for money for a visit after about the third message.

I've done extensive searching on Google and other places to see if any of the pictures that she had sent me have been used before in other scams, no luck there.  I've searched for her email address, no luck there.  Searched for scammers claiming to be from her country, no luck.

So - the people that are doing this must be changing up the content frequently....

Hmm... we've found that they don't read my emails, don't look at the pictures attached, don't appreciate fine art - LOL, and don't care if I even attach an MP3 file!

Where do we go from here....

I think in my next response I'm going to toss out the option of me coming to visit her in Russia....

Any other suggestions?

Patience? Bah - forget that!

I'm pretty bored, so I decided to email Alla and find out why she hasn't written me back.  If what I think is true, it's because she is actually a male, living in the States and most likely celebrating Memorial Day.  LOL.

Enjoy!

Dearest Alla,

I hope this message finds you well. 

I have not heard from you, and I worry that you've found another.

Could it be that the song was just too passionate for you?  The art work too intense?  Or is it my love of Peanut Butter that has driven you into the arms of another man?

Oh Alla, if I had a razor blade and could afford the postage, I'd cut off my ear lobe and send it to you to show you that you are my muse.  Without you, I'm... oh, let's not think about that...

Hopefully you're just busy.  It's Memorial Day weekend here in the States... so I wouldn't think that you would be busy because of that, or do they celebrate that in Russia as well? 

Oh such a twist of fate topped with chocolate sauce this has become.

I'll wait patiently Alla... for at least a couple hours.

I hope to hear from you, and see your beautiful pictures....

Sinfully yours until you find someone else,

Jason

The next response... with a touch of canned text

I didn't want to spend too much time on this reply, since it's obvious that nobody is reading them, well - I mean other than all of us... which is why I did put a bit of effort.  :)

I think you'll like that I pulled some things from her last message, I even included some "Lorem Ipsum" placeholder text.  LOL.

My lovely Alla,

I hope this message finds you healthy, happy and honest.

It sounds like you had a beautiful day!  I often wish I could sigh a full breast, but alas, nothing.  Pollution is very bad around my city, smog fills the air and smoke from the local bakery.  Currently it's very hot and smoggy, and smokey.

Thank you for answering your own questions, it pleases me greatly to know that you are so sincere, so honest, trustworthy and willing to cook.

It is also great to hear that you will love me, no matter what.  It makes me smile, no really... I'm smiling!

I loved your answers Alla.  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec auctor velit non lacus ullamcorper gravida. Ut pharetra eleifend odio non aliquet. Donec quis est dui, vel tincidunt lectus. Quisque id nibh diam. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. In quam odio, imperdiet sit amet gravida quis, consectetur suscipit lacus. Donec non euismod diam.

You said you wanted a family, how many children do you want?  I have three and if you wanted four or five, I could get started on the others right away...

Your pictures are great!  You are very beautiful.  Please send more, they make me happy in pants.

I will wait to hear from you with battered breath...

Your superstitiously,

Jason

I used the "happy in pants" line which is my favorite line from "Not Another Teen Movie"

I attached two of the sample nature pictures that come with Windows XP, and a photo of Indiana Jones.  :)

Let's see how quickly we hear back...

No mention of the song?!?!? Son of a....

Alla responded very quickly to the last message.  This one is completely a canned email as it basically says, "hey, hosehead, I don't care what you responded to my last email... here are MY answers to the questions I asked you... see - we're totally vibing with each other!"

Hello dear Jason.

Today it was valid me very well. I have woken up early in the morning. When I left on street, I have sighed a full breast. Air was fresh and pure. The wind softly blew to me in the face. Certainly, the wind was cool, but nevertheless it was pleasant to me. What at you now weather? What you did today?

Now I wish to tell to you about those questions, which I to you the strutter. I want, that between us there was a justice and therefore, I will answer you the same questions.

1. On this question I think, that when I have received your letter, I was very happy. In my heart, that that has occurred. I was really very happy to it.

2. For the person whom I will love I it is ready to make all: I will cook to its the most tasty food, I will care of its things, I will always support the loved person a difficult minute. It is for me especial. But nevertheless the main thing it that I WILL LOVE IT.

3. I very much wish to create a family. It is very valuable to me. After the family in every human life - is the most important thing. For the sake of the family the person can make everything.

4. I will store a photo of loved person always at the heart. It shows female fidelity. It is love.

5. My love will not have any borders. This feeling when the person to be in embraces of the loved. I will give all for the love.

6. For the sake of love I am ready on all. I am ready to make any feat. I am ready to love the man till the end of the life and to give it everything, that from me it is required and that in my forces. It is my life and I wish to divide it only with what I will love.

My dear Jason, I hope, that you liked my answers. These are my sincere thoughts, and I am always glad to say you that I think. We with you never saw each other, but I feel that I can open all my thoughts to you, tell about what could not speak with mum and with the best girlfriend. You the especial person, and I are very glad to that could find you in this world. Now is the time to finish my letter because my time in Internet cafe have already finished. I with the big impatience will wait tomorrow again to come and write to you.

Your Alla.

Well - at least she's MY Alla... I would hate to imagine that she was having a similar / exact conversation with someone / several hundred other people....  I can't stand cheaters!

I'm going to have to think about where to go from here...  I could probably get away with sending her a blank email... and she'd probably respond saying something like "email your especial long time lonely baba blippity boo bah. Internet cafe have finished with a big impatience, I rejoice in your world."

Wow - I think I'm starting to talk like her...

Of course there are more pics... you didn't think she'd forget them, did you?

Response in a horrible song... no really

Let me start this post by saying that I don't play the guitar...

What better reason to respond to Alla than in a song, right?

I mean, doesn't every girl want a tune written about her?  Heck - I know I would feel better if Rob Thomas wrote a song about me... 

Ok - so I'm sure that nobody wants a song that mentions Peanut Butter... and of course this one does!!

Below is the email I sent to her.

My lovely Alla,

How have you been dearest?  I apologize for the time since my last email... you must be starving to hear from me!  I'm famished myself... let me get a snack, I'll be back.

I'm back Alla...  I told you I was a comedian... do you really think that I left the computer?  I did actually, but it was just to use the restroom, I didn't get anything to eat.  Although I am craving some peanut butter...  but I'm always craving that!

I definitely feel like we are getting closer and closer with each letter. 

I completely understand what you mean about the "being in a different world" thing.  When I write you, I am in a different world.  A world with unicorns and rainbows, where it is sunny all day and the skies are blue.  There is no rain in this world, so crop growth is down this year, I'm not sure what we're going to do about that, but one crisis at a time, Alla.

I find myself thinking about you all the time.  I went to play some music tonight and I found that there were no songs that could capture the feelings in my heart for you and what you mean to me, so I wrote you a song.  It mentions things we've talked about in our correspondence, and I think it takes us to the next level in our relationship.  Oh Alla, I hope you enjoy it, it would crush me if you didn't... I worked on this for several hours. I've got blisters on me fingers!

I will answer your questions one by one.

1. What have you felt, when have received my first letter? I felt hopeful... I felt butterflies, I wondered why such a beautiful girl was interested in emailing me.

2. How do you view women, if you are going to love her? From behind.  HA!  I got you again Alla, that's my Canadian / American sense of humor coming out!  I always have the utmost respect for ladies of the world.  I've really only been in love once.

3. Whether you wish to create the family? I'm not sure on this one yet.  Did I mention that I have children?  Ok - so I have two secrets... the second is that I already have three children, by three different ladies. Don't worry - I wasn't in love with any of them.

4. If your beloved woman will give you my photo, then where will you store it? I always appreciate the beauty of a lady, your photos are stored in a very secure place, in my heart.  

5. What for you means a word "love"? It means being one of the lucky few to find someone that will tolerate you.  They don't care about my quirks, my freakishly large eyeballs, my three children, my debt, and they love me for who I am.

6. What actions are you willing to do for love and for the sake of the loved woman?  This is a tricky question.  I'm pretty selfish and I have three kids to worry about, so although I'd do quite a bit for love, I really wouldn't do that much.

I must go Alla, I have to pick up a friend and drive them to their AA meeting (they're drunk again...)

I hope to hear from you soon, and hope that you enjoy the song.

Sleeplessly yours,

Jason

Here is the link to the song. (Right click and choose "Save Target As" or "Save Link As")

Lyrics
------
You say I brighten your day
when you see my letters
You never answer my questions
I think it makes you feel better
You're my love from russia
like a cat I would brush ya
We could cuddle up on the couch
and drift away

I'm fallin for you girl
I'm falling for you
Just like you told me how you fell
when you broke your effin' shoe
I'm fallin for you girl
I'm falling for you
Just like you told me
when you broke your effin' shoe

When you broke your effin shoe
I can't imagine how it felt
When you broke it
When you broke it
That story broke my heart
I never want to see you go through pain
I only want to see the sunshine
not the rain
not the rain
yeah..... not the rain.

Alla

I can't believe how long I've known you
I hope this song will do the job and show you
Just the thought will make me stop and shutter
I can't forget to mention Peanut Butter

Alla
Alla
Allong will this go on
Allong will this go on

How long will this go on
How long will this go on
This is the end of my song
How long will this go on.
-------

Let me know what you think of the tune.  It's out of tune, horribly mixed, the lyrics are ridiculous, way too repetitive and I threw it together in about 20 minutes.  Actually - I think it's a perfect fit for Alla.  :)

A Quick Reply from Alla

She wasted no time in responding back, taking it to the next level and attaching a pic that she had already sent an a new one with an umbrella... ella... ella.

Hello my dear Jason.

I am glad to receive your letter again. I am very glad, that I have a person to whom I can speak sincerely and which understands me in all. After all so it is difficult to find such person in this world as you. And it is very pleasant to me to receive your letters always. They always like me. Dear Jason, I wish to tell to you, that when I write to you, I as if am in other world. In the world in which there is nobody except you and me. I am glad, that we have found each other, I am glad, that we have decided to write each other. It seems to me, that I know you very much for a long time. You me very strongly interest. I hope, that for you will seem modest if I set some serious questions. 1. What have you felt, when have received my first letter? 2. How do you view women, if you are going to love her? 3. Whether you wish to create the family? 4. If your beloved woman will give you my photo, then where will you store it? 5. What for you means a word "love"? 6. What actions are you willing to do for love and for the sake of the loved woman? I think, that for you will not make the big work to answer my questions sincerely.

With the advent of you and your letters, my life has very strongly changed. I began to rejoice much to the most usual things to which earlier I did not pay attention. I began to rejoice lives such what it is. Every morning I wake up with good mood as I know, that in the evening I will come in the Internet of cafe and I will see your letter which began very many to mean for me. After all each your letter it as if a beam of the sun which makes the way through dark clouds. All it very much is pleasant to me, and I do not want, that all it came to an end. I very much want, that you have more likely written to me. I with the big impatience will wait your letter.

Alla.

I'm starting to wonder if these pics are even of the same girl... the two above are the same I believe, but they look a bit different than the others she's attached, especially the tattoo and lack of tattoo in other pics.  :)

It's obvious that my artwork has changed her world.  I can't say that I blame her... I'm thinking about selling prints of "Heart On Love".

Where do I go from here?  Do I call her out on not answering my questions?  Do I devote myself to her and start forcing the hand for meeting?  Do I invite a fake girlfriend account and email her from it, telling her that "Jason is MY man!!" (like a friend suggested!) or just stop writing her?

Let me know which direction to go ... in the meantime, maybe I'll write her a love song...

My response...

My lovely Alla,

I hope this letter finds you well, I hope you have had a good day and have not thought of me too much.  :)

We've gotten to know each other so well through these emails, I've heard about your work, adventures in shoe repair, and a game of lost and found with a cat.  I feel like I know all about you.  I feel so close, if we were not geographically a shit load of distance away from each other.

Oh Alla, I think about meeting you too.  Yesterday I thought much about taking a trip to Alaska, running to the edge and waving in the hopes that clear skies might let you notice me.  But alas... I decided not to because I too have a secret.

I wish to tell you this secret.  I am terribly afraid of airplanes, and airline travel in general.  It's not the flying that scares me, it's more the service.  In no other place have I paid as much money to be treated so badly in such a short time.  For all the pain that is caused, you are only given small offerings of horrible packaged snacks that have a standard that is below the snacks I would leave out for wildlife around my house.

Due to this secret, which is no longer a secret, I do not know how we will ever be able to make the dream of meeting each other a reality.

I have two options that I would like to discuss with you... the first, involves looking at the moon at exactly the same time, this would be kind of cool and would definitely secure our relationship as we'd be experiencing things together.  The second would be for you to meet me in my dreams... I have vivid dreams and I'm sure that I could arrange for a visit in my dreams if you were up for it.  Let me know if you are up for this idea... think it over and give me your thoughts.  I would hate to arrange a visit and have you not show up.  Dream travel has non-refundable deposits.

I think of you often, but only in short bursts of several seconds.  This poem just came to mind...

Roses are Red
My sweetheart is Russian
Like a Freshen-up gum
My heart is gushin'
My feelings for you
are like no other
I like you so much
you're second to only Peanut Butter

Well - I am afraid to say that I must go... my time at the cafe has come to and end and I need to stop at the grocery store on the way home for toilet paper

I am attaching a drawing that I completed while thinking of you, it's called "Heart On Love", it didn't take me long at all, but I hope you enjoy it.

Desperately wanting,

Jason

"Heart On Love"

Yes - another reply...

Today my beautiful russian woman friend, who is likely a late twenties something male in Ohio, decided to drop me a reply.

Her sense of urgency to meet climbs and she stays on par with not answering a single question that I've ever asked her.  Oh well - take a read of the message and the attached pictures (which keep getting a bit better... um, I mean edgy...)

Hello my dear Jason.

I am valid with the big impatience waited your letter. And now I am glad to read your letter. I wish to tell to you, that you are very interesting to me. I like to learn about you that or new that is connected with your daily life.

I wish to tell to you, that sometimes I have such days when I would not like to go for work at all. I feel weariness and drowsiness. To wake up from a dream to me it is required to take a shower and drink a cup of strong coffee. On work I start to feel better, but if it is not enough work, I again become sleepy. I do not know with what it is connected, but such sometimes happens in my life. At you happens such?

Today I had a good mood. And I with pleasure have gone for work in the morning. Time has passed quickly and the dinner has come. I have gone to have dinner home. With me there was a small discomfiture during a lunch break, and now I wish to tell to you about it. When I went home, I have broken a heel from a shoe. At this moment I have fallen, and it became very a shame to me before associates me people. It seemed, that all passers-by look at me and laugh. But anything such was not, anybody at all has not approached to me and has not helped. Only one woman has approached to me and whether has asked all as it should be with me. I have told, that I am perfectly in order, have risen on feet and have gone further. But now I have gone not home, and to a shoe workshop. There to me have quickly repaired my footwear, but to time to have dinner any more does not remain. I again should go for work...

But that that I have broken today the heel, it not the main thing, that I wish to tell to you. I wish to tell to you, that I often think of our meeting. I very much would like, that it happens. I understand that thus we can is better learn each other. However having thought over it it is better, I have decided, that we should learn is even better each other: our characters, our behaviour. Our meeting is a serious step to our life. If it is fair, I have got confused in the thoughts. During one time I would like to meet you more likely, and during other time I think on another. But nevertheless I think, that we should wait still. You should know, that your letters of a steel take the big place in my life. It is very pleasant to me to communicate with you. And I think, that in the future we will meet in any case. What do you think in this occasion? Tell to me the opinion. I will wait your letter with the big impatience.

Alla.

Oh - good stories are already coming to mind about how one of my hobbies is shoe repair....

This next reply from me will be a "doozy".

There is no way that I should get a reply...

Ok - I've replied back... seriously... I do NOT expect to get a reply to this email.  It's definitely treading closer to the edge.  I had to reel it in a bit in areas... enjoy!

Hi Alla!

Thank you for the letter.  I was so happy to get it!  I also find myself thinking of ways to get out of work quickly to rush home and see if you've written me.  Usually I'll use the exit to the east of the building, but something told me to try west today and it managed to save me at least a few minutes off of my commute, allowing me to get home faster to write you this email.

I must admit, I look forward to hearing from you.  I do have this little problem and sometimes I get too excited and I lose control of my body and tinkle just a bit in anxiousness.  I think I've changed at least three times today.  Ah - you do things to me Alla!

It's funny that you mentioned finding a kitten in your journey to the cafe.  I love cats. I have two of my own.  My male's name is Frazzlebutt and my female cat is named Ms. Princesses'.  They are very affectionate. 

I can tell by the way you describe your interaction with the kitten that you have a good heart, that you are a caring person and that such a simple thing as a stray kitten that won't leave your side can make you enjoy this thing we call life.  He probably just wants to be close to you, as most beings would long to be... close to you.  Why do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you come near?  It's the same reason... it's a thing of beauty... it's a thing.  Oh you are correct Alla, if I was there to see it, I would be a bit ridiculous, but it would be fun!  A name - what to call the kitten?  If it were I, I might select a noble name like "Jumby".  Jumbalucious Arenagone was a poet, world traveler and antique fossil collector that I met when I was very young.  He happened to be at the NHL Old Timers game that my father took me to in my hometown.  I did not know who he was at the time, but he sat right beside us to watch the game.  We talked for hours, barely noticing the game, about his many adventures.  He happened to have a copy of some of his writing and he gave it to me as a gift.  His full name was on the cover, but inside he wrote "Thanks for the popcorn, Jason.  It was great meeting you.  Love Jumby".  I read this book many times, and the poems were so beautiful.  So - if I was to choose a name, it would be "Jumby".

In time we will learn much more about each other... but for now all we have is this moment, and well, each email moment that comes after this one.  Come to think of it, we've got some time, let's take it slow.

For now - I will answer your questions in hope that in one of these emails, you will answer mine...

I love to spend my free time looking through double paned glass, out at the world and wondering what could be if I tried just a little bit harder than I did today.  I know this may sound funny, but I do try to be a better person each day and the two panes help magnify my vision a bit, it's a clarifying effect.  I read quite a bit, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, the passionate writings of Jacques Cousteau, and the occasional trashy romance novel.  Yes - I like a good romance novel every now and then... I'm a bit of a romantic.

I do love nature and try to get out in it as much as possible!  Walking is one of my many talents.  Dancing on the other hand, I'm not that good at, but yes, I would definitely dance with you!  Would you teach me to be a better dancer?  Ah, I must go change again.

Congratulations on achieving your diploma, are there different color diplomas for different fields of study?  What was your major area of focus?

Men are the best cooks, Alla.  There is no lie to this I assure you.  I can cook complex meals and do so almost every night.  A complex meal for one is a bit uncalled for, but I do it nonetheless, with vigor!  I love to cook, almost as much as I love to eat.  Many of my recipes have been handed down from previous generations, things like steak, and baked potatoes.  Sometimes I'll make side dishes even though I know I'm not going to eat it all myself... oh who am I kidding, of course I'll eat it.  Hahah..  sometimes I make myself laugh.

I do not come with a manual Alla.  Sometimes in life, you just need to fly commando and see what happens.

I hope that your day went well and that this letter finds you happy and smiling.

I've attached a picture of a myself and some friends in a Blues Brothers type pose, a cat, and some geese coming out of a small lake.  All things that mean a little something to me...

I'd love to see some pictures you've taken from around your city. 

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Jason

She's back!

I was quite surprised to get another reply after the last email I sent.  I made sure that there were many references that made no sense, "swaying back and fro", and I attached a frickin' picture of Peanut Butter!!

Well, below is the latest from her, and you'll notice that there are no answers to my questions.

Hello Jason.

Today all the day long on work I was not left by thoughts on that, has written you to me the letter or not. Why that to me would be desirable to give up all work and to come running in the cafe Internet, to see your letter. If it is fair, I with the big work constrained myself all the working day long not to make it. Though we are familiar very small time, but it seems to me, that you very interesting person, and reading of your letters delivers me very much great pleasure.

When my working day has ended, I have gone at once to the Internet cafe, I very much would like to see your letter. When I am already almost cunning to the cafe Internet, I have seen a small kitten. It purred and looked at me the harmless sight. I could not be kept: I took it on hands and took with myself. And now when I write you this letter, the kitten sits on my knees and as looks at me the harmless sight. Dear Jason, this such lovely being, and looking at it to me even becomes a little ridiculous, because since that moment as I write you this letter, the kitten does not reduce from me the sight. Probably, he tries to understand who I and that I need from it :-) I think, that if you it now saw, to you as would become ridiculous. Now I have a kitten, but with its occurrence there was one small problem. I should think of what name to give it. Probably, you can prompt to me what or a variant? I want, that it was what or an unusual name.

I wish to tell to you, that you are very interesting to me. I very much would like to learn about you more and more each time. Therefore I have to you some questions. Where you like to spend a free time? You like to have a rest on the nature, to walk in park? What music is pleasant to you most of all? You are able to dance? If you are able it you would dance with me? I not so well dance now, but earlier during study at university I attended dance classes. It was very interesting to me, and I even thought of being engaged in it professionally, but I had to forget about this idea as it was necessary to devote much time to study. But I do not regret about it as on the termination of study I have received the red diploma.

You like to cook food? Many people assert, that men are the best cooks. My father too well cooked food, but nevertheless he always considered, that I am the best cook in the world. And it is valid, all my girlfriends and relatives very much like how I cook food. If it is fair, I any more do not remember precisely, I can prepare what quantity of dishes. And all this thanks to my mom and grandmother, who since childhood had taught me cooking and housekeeping. They always said to me in the childhood, that the present wife should be able cook well food, always to hold the house in cleanliness, to care about children, and to love and respect the husband. I have acquired all their manuals, but unfortunately I do not have till now husband and children. I hope, that in the future all it will be at me as already tired to be lonely.

I do not wish now to stop to write you the letter, but I should make it as my time in the cafe Internet comes to an end. You should know, that your letters very much like me. With perusal of each your letter my mood becomes much better. I hope, that correspondence with me as is pleasant to you. And I think that our correspondence in the future turn into anything more. I hope, that soon you will write to me. As do not forget to write me your variant of a name for a kitten :-) I will wait your letter.

Alla.

Her response had me cracking up.  It was filled with the usual "your letters give me pleasure" and even added in the finding of a cat.  Really?  You want me to help you name the cat?  Oh that's a bad idea...

Let's have everyone help name the cat... if you have a stupid name that you'd like to give to the cat, leave it in the comments section and I just might use it.  Right now my top choices are Asphalt or Kibblerdoo.

And - no mention of the peanut butter... that means I should probably attach some pretty good stuff next time... maybe a picture of a shot-put competition or something as relevant.

Oh and of course, she attached more pictures....

Did you like the mention of the Internet Cafe?  In my research it warned that this would be one of the ways that they would ask for money.  They would tell you that they want to keep writing you but that it cost a lot of money and they don't have the money to keep doing it, so maybe you could send some?

So - what do you think?  Am I off base here - or is this a total scam?

I'm going to reply back tomorrow, I have to give a bit of thought to come up with what I want to put in next and how far into the ridiculous realm I want to drift. 

This is about to get fun!

I think it's a scam...

So I decided that since I believe that this person is not real, I figured I might as well have some fun with them.

Here is my reply back to "Alla"

Hi Alla,

I hope you had a great day!  Thanks so much for writing again.  I am glad to be your friend in the internet!  It's nice to have someone to talk to, it gets lonely in here.

Thanks for telling me more about your parents.  I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.  I also lost my Dad a few years back and I can relate with the pain you and your Mom must have felt.  My Dad did not pass as suddenly. 

I also wished that I had siblings growing up, but I too am an only child.  I kept myself busy with many imaginary friends and would talk to them often, swaying back to and fro.  In Canada we had a similar saying to the one you mentioned about the Crane, but it was a similar story with a Stork that would deliver the baby from the sky and leave it for it's new family.  There is also a belief that if when you were born you could fit comfortable seated in the inside of a goalie mask, you were destined for greatness.  My parents used to joke that I was just a bit too big.  :)

Thank you for being honest with me, I don't mind that you're in Russia, I'm just not sure what kind of relationship we would be able to have with each of us living so far away from each other.  But like you said - we could just stay in touch and learn more about each other and see if there is something more.

My family was just my Mom, Dad and I.  Mom is now on a pension as well.  We have quite a bit in common.

What is your favorite color?  How about your favorite time of day?  Are you a morning person or a night person?

Tell me more about Russia.  What do you like about it? What don't you like about it?

I'm attaching a picture of the view from my house and a picture of my favorite thing in the world, peanut butter.  :)  This is a bit of a joke, I am quite the comedian, but I do love peanut butter.

Hope to hear from you soon.

And yes - I attached a picture of Peanut Butter. I'm thinking that if this is a scammer, it will likely end here.  If not, we'll see what the next response is and I'll go from there.  If it's more canned text, I will likely go further and further out into fantasy land on my reply back and see how far I can take it before the person realizes that it's a lost cause and moves on to the next sucker.

Reply #2

Hello Jason.

I am glad to that you have written me the letter. I very much waited your letter because I very much want that our acquaintance developed. I very much like to learn about you, about your interests, how you have spent day. I am glad, that I have found the friend in the Internet.

I wish to tell to you about the parents. To my mum 54 years, it 4 years on pension. Earlier it worked as medical sister in station of the emergency help. My father worked as the builder. It was the good expert. Unfortunately, it was lost 1 one year ago on the work. The daddy has fallen from the seventh floor. We with mum very much took hard death of the daddy. But despite a grief, it is necessary to live further. After all the life goes forward. Native brothers and sisters at me are not present. I was the only child in the family. In the childhood I very much would like to have either sister or the brother. And I many times asked the daddy and mum why I do not have brother and sister. And they played a trick over me - ALL CRANES HAVE DEPARTED ON THE SOUTH! They joked so over me. Because in Russia when children ask whence they have appeared, parents say to them, that the child have found in cabbage, or it was brought by a crane :-) Now I think also it looks so funny!

As I should you admit. I had one secret. I was afraid to write to you about it at once because I was afraid of that you will not write to me more. But now I will tell to you about it. I live in Russia. City in which I live is called Baltasi. It is in republic Tatarstan. You heard that or about my city? I hope that you not against, that I from Russia?? Excuse that small misunderstanding has turned out. But I did not wish to deceive you, or to afflict you. On a site, and on a profile I could not write that I was from Russia. Because I could not send you the message. And then I did not specify that on a profile that I was from Russia. You understand, I do not deceive you. It was simply attempt to contact with you.

I say you the truth, that I search for the serious man, for serious relations. And if I write you the letters my intentions to you are really serious. And it means that now we should learn not much more about each other. And after that we could will agree about a meeting if we approach to each other as pair. Who knows, what can be further?? :-)

Tell to me more about the family. It is very interesting to me to know it. And if at you is what or questions, you set to me them, and I with the great pleasure will answer you them. And we will learn more about each other. I am really very glad to get acquainted with you, and to learn about you as you are very interesting to me. And to you to like to learn about me and to speak with me??

Well, now I should go. I hope to see your letter again as it very much pleases me.

Alla.

Along with this reply were two more pictures.  I'll attach them below.  At this time I'm now informed that she's from Russia, her Mom is on a pension, Dad died a terrible death, and given a bunch of info, however she didn't directly answer any of my questions in the email I sent.  This is where I started to think that this was some kind of scam and I did some more research.

I noticed that the picture sequence numbers were very close, but it showed that the new pics, taken in 2009, were from two different cameras and both of them differ from the first set of pics.

I started to research scams as I just had this feeling that it was going to end up being one.

I posted out a status asking friends whether I should just try to have fun with this and see what comes of it and see how long I could string this person (most likely male) around and that's when I completed setting up this blog to keep note of the communication sent back and forth to this person.

Doing some thinking...

At this point I thought things were "off" but I really wasn't sure and didn't want to jump to any conclusions.  I did a bit of detective work and found that the images she sent were from 2005 and 2009 and were taken with a Casio EX-Z120.  I wasn't sure what this told me, if anything, but it was some info... of course in my heart I was hoping that she'd respond and say that she was from Flint and we could continue our conversations.

Reply #1

Hello Jason.

To me it is very pleasant, that you have written to me. If it is fair, I do not have any experience of acquaintance through the Internet. I for the first time try it. I very much wish to learn about you more. But I do not know from what to me to begin our acquaintance as I have started to use recently the Internet.

I wish to tell to you about myself. My name is Alla. I the usual woman. Actually I differ nothing from other women, but in each person there is a secret. And I think, that in me as there is a secret. To me of 30 years. My growth of 168 centimetres, weight approximately 54 kgs. I have many hobbies and a hobby: playing sports: volleyball and aerobics; knitting; reading of interesting books. From books I especially like to read to the biography of the well-known people. I work as the seller flowers in shopping centre. I like my work though my speciality mismatches my work. During free time from work, I like to meet my girlfriends. We cheerfully spend time: we go to a cinema, we walk in park. I do not have bad habits. I do not smoke. I very seldom drink alcohol. It happens only on holidays. Basically this red wine.

My main vital principles - honesty, kindness, decency and respect in relation to other people. I very much do not like lie and false people. I as do not respect haughty people. I think, that each person should be kind and always should speak the truth to people surrounding it.

I wish to find serious relations, as I already long time the lonely. And it is very interesting to me, you search for what woman? Also what in it should be especial? To me it is very important this question. Please, if you do not search for serious relations speak to me about it is.

As I would like, that you have told to me about yourselves. You smoke? You drink alcohol? As whom do you work? You like your work? You can set to me any questions which interest you, I will answer them with the big pleasure :-) I hope, that you soon will write me the letter. As I send you my photos. I hope you like it.

Alla.

This reply was a bit of a surprise to me as you can tell that her english is not exactly what I would expect from a girl from Flint, MI.  I told myself that she could be "an import" like I am from another country, so I didn't judge or question too much at this point.  I also found it a bit weird that she included pictures of herself and the poses didn't seem all to "normal" to me.  :)

Ok - so I can admit, the first thing that was weird is that someone that was this cute would be talking to me.  The second thing I noticed were her shoes.  Honestly... I thought to myself, those don't look like current fashion shoes, they look more industrial (yes, that's the word that came to my mind).

So - it was my turn to reply back.  I sent the following and attached a full body pic of myself (the one next to the Loveland Pass sign in Colorado)

Hi Alla,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well.  I sent you a message on *****, but it seems like you don't have a profile on there anymore. 

You mention that your current job is not your specialty, did you go to school or train for another line of work?

I also enjoy reading or watching specials on history, or biography of well known people.  I find great inspiration from others in that way.

I have many hobbies as well, photography, singing, songwriting, writing (short stories).  I do enjoy going for walks out in natural environments and I live on a lake, so there are times that I like to take a walk out by the water.

Your main principles hold high with me as well.  Honesty is the key to a good relationship, trust is important to me as well.  I'm looking for someone that can be my best friend.  Someone that I never have to think twice about telling anything that I am feeling, because I know that they won't judge me for it.

I am also looking for a long term relationship.  I'm hoping to find someone that I can be myself around and that I can let be herself around me.  I want to enjoy each others company, experience things together, learn from each other, inspire each other, be there when needed and live a happy life together.

The most important thing to me is a kind heart.  I'm looking for a woman that is a caring individual, that respects the people and the world around her, appreciates each day, loves life, is generally a positive person and wants to share the good in life with someone that is like her.

I do like my career, I am an technology manager for a large company in Ann Arbor. I am Canadian, born and raised in Windsor, Ontario.  Your profile said you were from Flint, have you always lived in Michigan?

I do not smoke, do not drink.  I definitely don't mind if others smoke or drink, and the occasional red wine is nice sometimes!

Thanks for the photos, I hope you don't mind me saying that you are very beautiful.

I'm attaching a photo of myself from last September, when I visited a friend in Colorado. 

I hope to hear from you again.  Have a great night.

Those of you that know me well may try to call me out on the drinking thing - but nope - I am a non-drinker now, I haven't had a drink in over two months and have no desire to have one in the future.  Nice try...  :)

First contact

I signed up for an online dating service and received an email from a person with the name Floretalla.  After checking out her profile it said that she lived in Flint, MI.  It said that she liked gardening, and was an average type of girl, looking for friendship and maybe more.

She asked me to contact her at her Hotmail address.  I made note of the address and contacted her back on the dating service website the next day. 

To my surprise, it said that she no longer had a profile on the site.  I then reached out via her Hotmail address as she had originally asked to see if she was still around.

I'm hoping that I committed your email address to memory, as I didn't realize that ***** would "lock" the previous email from you. If I didn't and you have no idea what I'm talking about, feel free to disregard and sorry for the intrusion.  :)

What I got back surprised me a bit more...