Response in a horrible song... no really

Let me start this post by saying that I don't play the guitar...

What better reason to respond to Alla than in a song, right?

I mean, doesn't every girl want a tune written about her?  Heck - I know I would feel better if Rob Thomas wrote a song about me... 

Ok - so I'm sure that nobody wants a song that mentions Peanut Butter... and of course this one does!!

Below is the email I sent to her.

My lovely Alla,

How have you been dearest?  I apologize for the time since my last email... you must be starving to hear from me!  I'm famished myself... let me get a snack, I'll be back.

I'm back Alla...  I told you I was a comedian... do you really think that I left the computer?  I did actually, but it was just to use the restroom, I didn't get anything to eat.  Although I am craving some peanut butter...  but I'm always craving that!

I definitely feel like we are getting closer and closer with each letter. 

I completely understand what you mean about the "being in a different world" thing.  When I write you, I am in a different world.  A world with unicorns and rainbows, where it is sunny all day and the skies are blue.  There is no rain in this world, so crop growth is down this year, I'm not sure what we're going to do about that, but one crisis at a time, Alla.

I find myself thinking about you all the time.  I went to play some music tonight and I found that there were no songs that could capture the feelings in my heart for you and what you mean to me, so I wrote you a song.  It mentions things we've talked about in our correspondence, and I think it takes us to the next level in our relationship.  Oh Alla, I hope you enjoy it, it would crush me if you didn't... I worked on this for several hours. I've got blisters on me fingers!

I will answer your questions one by one.

1. What have you felt, when have received my first letter? I felt hopeful... I felt butterflies, I wondered why such a beautiful girl was interested in emailing me.

2. How do you view women, if you are going to love her? From behind.  HA!  I got you again Alla, that's my Canadian / American sense of humor coming out!  I always have the utmost respect for ladies of the world.  I've really only been in love once.

3. Whether you wish to create the family? I'm not sure on this one yet.  Did I mention that I have children?  Ok - so I have two secrets... the second is that I already have three children, by three different ladies. Don't worry - I wasn't in love with any of them.

4. If your beloved woman will give you my photo, then where will you store it? I always appreciate the beauty of a lady, your photos are stored in a very secure place, in my heart.  

5. What for you means a word "love"? It means being one of the lucky few to find someone that will tolerate you.  They don't care about my quirks, my freakishly large eyeballs, my three children, my debt, and they love me for who I am.

6. What actions are you willing to do for love and for the sake of the loved woman?  This is a tricky question.  I'm pretty selfish and I have three kids to worry about, so although I'd do quite a bit for love, I really wouldn't do that much.

I must go Alla, I have to pick up a friend and drive them to their AA meeting (they're drunk again...)

I hope to hear from you soon, and hope that you enjoy the song.

Sleeplessly yours,

Jason

Here is the link to the song. (Right click and choose "Save Target As" or "Save Link As")

Lyrics
------
You say I brighten your day
when you see my letters
You never answer my questions
I think it makes you feel better
You're my love from russia
like a cat I would brush ya
We could cuddle up on the couch
and drift away

I'm fallin for you girl
I'm falling for you
Just like you told me how you fell
when you broke your effin' shoe
I'm fallin for you girl
I'm falling for you
Just like you told me
when you broke your effin' shoe

When you broke your effin shoe
I can't imagine how it felt
When you broke it
When you broke it
That story broke my heart
I never want to see you go through pain
I only want to see the sunshine
not the rain
not the rain
yeah..... not the rain.

Alla

I can't believe how long I've known you
I hope this song will do the job and show you
Just the thought will make me stop and shutter
I can't forget to mention Peanut Butter

Alla
Alla
Allong will this go on
Allong will this go on

How long will this go on
How long will this go on
This is the end of my song
How long will this go on.
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Let me know what you think of the tune.  It's out of tune, horribly mixed, the lyrics are ridiculous, way too repetitive and I threw it together in about 20 minutes.  Actually - I think it's a perfect fit for Alla.  :)