Alla's Wedding Reply

No mention of the wedding plans, but she's really declaring her love for me... ah, who can blame her...

Hello my love Jason!!!

I am glad to receive your letter. For me this biggest happiness, for me is a holiday in usual week-day. For me your letter very many means in my life because I cannot contact you in any way more. And I wish to receive your letter always. My love, I so is glad, that the destiny has reduced us with you. You for me the most desired man in this world. On the earth there is no such person as you more. Even in all installed not to find the man who could replace to me you. Such man simply does not exist also it will be never!! Only you for me everything, than I value. You all valuable, that at me are!! And I am ready to give you all that I have for your love. I am ready to give you all heart, all soul, all body. My love, take everything, but only do not leave me never and give me the love and caress. I wish to be only with you, my sweet prince Jason!! You are an ideal of the man for me!! When we will be together, I will be always near to you, I will always help you in all. I love you!!! Write me more likely the letter. I wish to see your answer.

Your sweet love Alla.

There were pictures attached, but they didn't come through with the email, and it looked like the reply was copied and pasted from Word because it had a bunch of the characters that come in from a copy such as that.  I thought I would give a quick reply, so I just sent her this in response.

I sometimes miss you always, and stuff.

Love Jason

The "picture this" Wedding Response

I really don't have to set this one up ...

The love, the light, my dear Alla,

I had a wonderful day today.  I woke early to get in my morning workout and as I worked through the first set of jumping jacks I thought of you.  I thought of your beautiful hair as I worked through a torturous set of leg lunges and your beautiful smile kept me going when I wanted to quit after only three deep knee squat thrusters.

I jumped in my vehicle, checked my looked in the mirror, and sped out of the driveway.  As I turned the radio up, a song came on that summed up my feelings for you.  A song so strong that my emotions nearly poured out into the ashtray.... would you like to know the title of the song that caused such an emotional oil spill?

The song was by an artist I'm sure that you've heard of... his name is Billy Ray Cyrus.  The song - "Achy Breaky Heart".  It's now "our" song Alla.  It's the song that I would like played at our wedding, along with other wedding dance song favorites like "Hit The Road, Jack" and the Marcy's Playground marriage anthem "Sex and Candy".

I picture myself holding you in my strong arms as we get freak nasty on the dance floor and we become one as I put my hand upon your hip, I dip, you dip, we dip.  You then put your hand upon my hip, when you dip, I dip, we dip.  We then rinse and repeat until the break of dawn, shorty got it going on!

I'm not sure about you, but I'd love a large wedding in a very small church.  I'm thinking that the invite list should be several thousand guests.  The majority of them would not fit in the church to view the ceremony, however we can webcast the event and perhaps even work out a pay-per-view deal if we play our cards right.  And as the ceremony finished, we would walk outside and all the guests would form a near-world record cha-cha line and we'd dance off to our limo parked several miles away.

Our wedding night would be heavenly.  We should definitely plan it so that we get married during the NHL playoff season, that way we'll have something to do after the wedding ceremony.  I'll get some cheese corn and we can watch hockey and who knows what else might happen... maybe we'll throw caution to the wind and order in some Dominos... oh hell Alla - we could be this wild!!

Oh listen to me...I'm telling you - this is how emotional you make me! 

Well - I should go calm down a bit.  Just writing you has caused a stir in me that only a bathroom break can relieve.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Alla... until next time.

My love is all yours...

Jason

She's Getting A Bit Demanding...

Yup - quick response back to my email, of course no mention of my teleportation ideas or my beautiful boat! Instead, she continues telling me the same thing in each message.  I'm her "angel", her "prince", her artist formerly known as Prince.  Oh why must I be so damn lovable?  It's a curse I tell ya...

Hello my love Jason.

I so am glad, that you have written me the letter. I waited for it very long. And now, when it is in my mail box, I feel the happiest woman. I really very much rejoice, when I receive your letters my prince. After all each your letter is as if a drink of fresh air for me, it as if a warm beam of the sun which warms me in cold weather, it as if wings for the bird who have remained without the blue sky.

My angel, your letter is all for me now as we cannot communicate in any way with each other at present any more. But nevertheless the most important place in my life is occupied not with your letters, namely you. You have brought a lot of happiness, a considerable quantity of bright paints from which this world seems to me is better in my life. In this world so it is a lot of afflictions and I am grateful to you that you do my life better.

With each last day I understand that I become happier. This happiness is given to me by you, my prince Jason. And every portion happiness I receive only with your letter. So write to me more often my love. Write me each time when you have a possibility to make it. If you know, that in a current of several days, you cannot write to me tell to me about it that I did not worry in vain for you. Well my loved?
I hope, that soon you receive my letter and will write to me. Now I with the big impatience will wait your answer. I love you!!

Your love Alla.

"If you know, that in a current of several days, you cannot write me to tell me about it that I did not worry in vain for you"  - really?  OH no she didn't!?!?!  //picture my head moving back and forth and me doing a great triple snap //

Well - I probably should write her soon... or as soon as I feel like it.  LOL!

I think I actually might just respond back with a header and a footer and the in between part being an Amazon.com review of some sort... seriously, she/he/it wouldn't notice.

"L" Bombs Away!

Travel Plan Response....

I figured I might as well have a bit of fun and let her know that I was thinking of how I could get to her.

Alla, dear Alla...

I feel the same way, it is nice to know that there is someone out there in the world that feels this way about me, and I about her.  Even though we're half a world apart, it's like you're right next to me.

Oh Alla, what will we do ...

Since the last time we communicated, I've been researching trips to Russia to investigate the best way to visit you.  I started with cab companies, but no local cabbies would take the task.  I checked the Greyhound station and found no buses that would make the trek.  The train station was next and although I have international options, I still could not find the match to my search.  Airlines seem to be the only way, but you know of my fear of dealing with the customer service of the airline industry, so that's not a great option. 

I've narrowed it down to two options.

Travel by boat or teleportation.  I have a lead on each of these options.  The first is to have a spell put on me to be able to teleport to see you.  The cost is pretty good.  At $29 I think it's worth a shot.  Check it out here -

The second option is not bad either, but it is a bit more expensive.  I could buy a boat and I'm sure given several months of travel, I could get to you.  I'm attaching a picture of the boat I'm looking at purchasing. 

What should I do?

Maybe you could come and see me?  Oh what am I saying - that would never work... I really don't like seeing people in person before we meet.

Until next time Alla, you'll be in my thoughts, my dreams, my subconcious, my left ear lobe and my breath.

Love, yes I said love... no big whoop.

Jason

Just in case the link on Teleportation is down, as I'm sure it will eventually be, I attach the screen shot for your enjoyment.  Yes - this was actually on eBay.

I love that the above ad says "5 sold" ... really?  Holy shit. Ok - I might post up some crap on eBay tonight...

I also attached the picture of my boat to the email.

Let's see where this goes ...  :)

Guess who's back?!?!

Just before preparing for bed this evening, I checked my email and to my surprise, I received the following message.

Hello my dear Jason.

It is pleasant to me to know, that in the world there is a person for whom my destiny and my future are of great importance. I did not feel such care from other people. It seemed to me, that in this bad world I am necessary to nobody. I thought, that I the most lonely and unfortunate woman in the world. At night I often cried... To me is sad to recollect my life before our acquaintance to you. Now in my life there is a person whom I love all heart. And I am ready to use the best efforts to be near to you. I can leave the house and the country to be together with you for ever. I am ready to make all for the sake of our love.

It seemed to me, that my angel the keeper has forgotten about me. But your kindness and you have woken in me other person! You have forced me to look at the world absolutely on another, you have brought in my life more than bright paints and pleasure. I very much would like to tell to you all these words personally, but simple silly words cannot explain my relation to you to the full. My eyes will more clearly tell to you about everything when I will glance in your eyes. Not be upset, if my letter seemed to you little bit sad. Simply understand me - round me there were people, but I was lonely in the soul, and now I have a person for whom I am not afraid to seem such what I am actually. Huge to you thanks for it!!! I absolutely free in the soul! I have again found happiness! I have found happiness thanks to you. I send you a kiss and when you will read my letter, you receive it in the lips :-) I miss very strongly on you.

Your Alla.

She's got some great ones in there - some stuff I may actually add into my repertoire for future use.

• I can leave the house and the country to be together with you for ever.

Perhaps I'll tell her that I'd like to leave the house as well, but that I'm grounded for two weeks?

• Huge to you thanks for it!!!

Did she just call me "huge"...?

• I send you a kiss and when you will read my letter, you receive it in the lips :-)

Awww... that's sweet!!

Ok - actually, if I didn't know any better and as I jumble the words around to make sense of what has been written, it would seem like this was a very lonely person who was really happy to hear from me again.

Since I know better, I guess I'll just keep having fun with it.  :)

It's been 12 long days...

Google Mail has informed me that it has been 12 days since my last communication with Alla.  I could have just let it go, but I decided to send her a quick email to see if it would remind her that I'm still around.  I know it has to be hard for her to keep up with all those responses, but I think she'll remember me...

Oh Alla,

It has been so long since your last letter where you declared your love for me.  My life has not been the same without you, my peanut butter is tastless.  Won't you please bring sunshine back into my day and come back to me?

With open heart and closed wallet,

Jason

Playin' hard to get and just playin'!

I haven't heard back from the love of my life, Alla!  I'm so disappointed.  I want to email her back, but I'm not like that and I'm not going to "give it up" that easy... she's gonna have to work for it!

In the meantime, you're going to laugh... ready...

Another person emailed me a message on the same dating site.  Very similar story... got the email, checked the profile and it was gone.  Most people would just leave it be... but not me, here is my first response to her.

Hi Uliana!

Wow - what a lucky guy I am to have you find my profile!  Tell me about yourself.  Let's get to know each other and find out if there is a love connection!!

Bow Chicka Wow Wow!

Hope to hear from you soon

J-Dog!

 So - let's hope that Alla reaches back out to me so that I can continue on with both of these lovely ladies..  LOL!!!